Metasonix

Penile Amputator

  • Sale
  • Regular price $400.00
  • 2 available


METASONIX IS PREPARING TO DISCONTINUE THE AMPUTATOR.

This is extremely limited...

 The Same Horrible

Penile Amputator?

The amputation now has a 12DC power supply!

Amputation on your list?

METASONIX IS PREPARING TO DISCONTINUE THE AMPUTATOR???

Thanks to supply problems and spiraling costs, there will be a limited number of Amputators made effective September 2026. They will ONLY be available in plain black ABS enclosures. Many fools have bought Amputators, NOT read the instructions, and NOT understood them. Some used the wrong power supply and a few even connected it backwards. Then complained that it “don’t work man”. So that’s the end. Yes, the price is going up too. 

 

What is it? It’s a bad thing. Tube distortion pushed too damn far.

It’s the SMALLEST product we have ever made. Shirt pocket size. Inside is a preamp with feedback controls, using two 5702 subminiature pentodes. They are real Raytheon military surplus from the 1980s, not Soviet leftovers. The quality is aces.

ONE knob The knob controls the feedback and gain. Fully CCW is off. Turn it up about 10% and you get increasingly LOUD signal, sliding into heavy tube distortion. Keep going up and it bursts into VERY LOUD oscillation. That’s the “feature”.

The switch is the other “feature”. It applies feedback to the suppressor grid of the second tube. What does that mean? We don’t know, we’ve never done this before and neither has anyone else. It is “unique” but you get to decide if it is useful or not.

There is a CV input on the front, it basically turns the Amputator into a really awful voltage-controlled amplifier (VCA). Ideally you shoud put at least 0-10 volts into this input. Can’t damage anything because it’s an all-tube circuit and there are no transistors or chips. The output is NOT able to drive “any load” so only feed it into a HIGH impedance unbalanced input.

Yes, STILL getting stupid attacks from fools claiming that there are either no tubes in our products, or else the tubes do nothing and it’s all done with a “ten cent chip”. Fuck you, buttboys.

No, it does not have a “bypass switch”. It’s on all the time because you deserve it.

Power required is 12 volts dc, 2.1mm barrel plug, center positive.  700 milliamps on startup and 250 milliamps in normal operation. NOTE: the standard version includes an AC power adapter for 100v-120v countries ONLY. If you are in a 220v-240v country, a “universal” power adapter is available for $30 more. Sorry kids: inflation and supply problems.

Everything sucks. That’s why each Amputator has different offensive stickers on it.

Video demos with drum machines: one, two.

I would put insults of guitar players here, but it’s pointless, they won’t read it. Some of them can’t read at all. Did I ever tell you about my ongoing battle with the IRS over my 2023 estimated tax payments? It’s an ugly little story and most people don’t believe the IRS is that incompetent. Well, they are. Besides, I wanna RETIRE. This is not “fun” anymore.

Size: depends on what kind of enclosure we can find. Weight: a few ounces.

This is extremely limited...

What is it? It’s a bad thing. Tube distortion pushed too damn far.

It’s the SMALLEST product METASONIX has ever made. Shirt pocket size. Inside is a preamp with feedback controls, using two 5702 subminiature pentodes.They are real Raytheon military surplus from the 1980s, not Soviet leftovers. The quality is aces.

ONE knob. The knob controls the feedback and gain. Fully CCW is off. Turn it up about 10% and you get increasingly LOUD signal, sliding into heavy tube distortion. Keep going up and it bursts into VERY LOUD oscillation. That’s the “feature”.

The switch is the other “feature”. It applies feedback to the suppressor grid of the second tube. What does that mean? We don’t know, we’ve never done this before and neither has anyone else. It is “unique” but you get to decide if it is useful or not.

There is a CV input on the front, it basically turns the Amputator into a really awful voltage-controlled amplifier (VCA). Ideally you should put at least 0-10 volts into this input. Can’t damage anything because it’s an all-tube circuit and there are no transistors or chips. The output is NOT able to drive “any load” so only feed it into a HIGH impedance unbalanced input.

 

Original text

It’s in a transparent polycarbonate enclosure because we STILL get stupid attacks from fools claiming that there are either no tubes in our products, or else the tubes do nothing and it’s all done with a “ten cent chip”. Fuck you, buttboys.

Here’s the damn photo. No, it does not have a “bypass switch”. It’s on all the time because you deserve it.

Power required is 12 volts dc, 2.1mm barrel plug, center positive.  700 milliamps on startup and 250 milliamps in normal operation. NOTE: the standard version includes an AC power adapter for 100v-120v countries ONLY. If you are in a 220v-240v country, a “universal” power adapter is available for $20 more. Sorry kids: inflation and supply problems.

Everything sucks. That’s why each Amputator has different offensive stickers on it.

Video demos with drum machines: one, two.

I would put insults of guitar players here, but it’s pointless, they won’t read it. Some of them can’t read at all. Did I ever tell you about my ongoing battle with the IRS over my 2023 estimated tax payments? It’s an ugly little story and most people don’t believe the IRS is that incompetent. Well, they are.

Size: no idea. Small. Weight: a few ounces.

Any more stupid questions?